Denial

This is a very hard - open - post to write. It's about that moment when you've been living in denial. Yes, I've been eating better and exercising to help me get healthier. What I've also been doing is living in denial about myself. Yes - I'm sick. I'm a type 2 diabetic. Have I been living completely honestly?


No.


"I feel fine, so I must be ok."
"I no longer feel sick so I must be getting better, so I don't need my medicine."


I test my sugar only when I feel sick - which isn't often. I'm supposed to check it every morning before I eat.


I rarely take my the medicine prescribed to me. For so long, it made me sick. One of the side effects. I was tired of feeling sick... it wasn't helping me.

I eat more carbs than I'm allowed. After a year, the honeymoon stage has ended. It actually ended quite awhile ago. In the beginning I didn't want to screw it up. Since my a1c has gone down by as much as it has, I figured I had it under control. 


That's all about to change. Tonight I took all of my medicine. Wrapping my mind around doing it right. Putting it ALL together -- medicine, eating right, exercising.
I'm giving it all to God -- my food choices, my schedule. I'm ready to see changes in the scale as well as my body image.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." --Hebrews 12:1, NLT